...escape.

...it's 2:50am, i'm still waiting to be sleepy,,, lately, i went back to my old way of escaping stress - SLEEPING!!! I have not yet finalize my report, but here i am doing nothing about it, then as usual, i will cram on it days before,,, it has been always like that, i haven't changed... :( the pressure is killing me so i am trying to negate my pressure by totally ignoring those things and those associated to it,,, hay!!!

...6th anniversary :) :)

...well, well, well, i didn't realize that today is the 6th anniversary of this blog... 6 years with more than a hundred posts... with my capacity, that number is good enough... :) :) :)

...i guess, writing is my frustration or should i say being a writer is my frustration, because there seems to be a thousand thoughts running on my mind in a minute... and maybe it's good to write them down... i am keeping a journal notebook, and if i am not mistaken, i am on my 8th notebook now... and also, i am a private person (really?!? hahaha!) ...i can be very talkative at times, but still there are things that i rather keep with myself and just keep my mouth shut... :) :) :)

...more years to come, more posts to make, and more memories to keep! cheers to this blog! (i am hoping that my 24 posts in 2009 would be surpassed this year, well, i still have 4 months, so i guess i can make it!) :) :) :)

...sentiments ^^

...today is wednesday, class day again tomorrow... so far, i have been surviving with my class schedule, we just started with our lessons, i still have to go through a lot of challenges... i am grateful that my superiors at work allowed me to leave earlier when i have class and then i will just have longer working hours on other days to offset the hours i won't be in the office... also my professor is kind enough to understand my situation as a student who is working full time...

...i almost had an anxiety attack last week, it's very ME... i always tend to be nervous and worried over things... of course i am afraid to fail or not do things... i know my capacity and i know i am nothing compared with my classmates... i have been struggling, i have worries, and have fears... but to ease those things, i am just taking things one day at a time... i know this too shall pass... this will end in three months time and i hope to earn 6 more units...

******************** it would be my 3rd decade on earth next week :), 3 decades of laughters and tears, joys and pains, jolly times and sad times, smiling and frowning, ups and downs, etc. - in short, 3 decades of contradictions... all kinds of emotional contradictions that have made me who am i, and where am i now... 30 years of being grateful to have a great family, friends, colleagues, acquaintance... my 30th birthday would be special because we have now a very welcome addition to the family, our little angel, Mely Angelique... :) ...i will try to enjoy that day, although i am a bit doubting since i will have a report the next day... but in general, i a really thankful and grateful for everything that have happened to my existence, and looking forward of more challenges and achievement/s... there's more to come, and i will be very happy to go through it all with God's grace and guidance and with all the people around me... :) :) :)

written thoughts

...i am glad that things turned out well, i was thinking last night that the issue will be exaggerated... i know i was also at fault for waiting for the Post's reply, which really came late... i should have set a time frame as to until when will i wait for their action... but as i have said, things are okay now, this should serve as a lesson for me... :)

**********

i will start my first semester for SY 2014-2015 tomorrow, yes, i have class on a weekday... i am just hoping that i won't be late... i need to be in the office before or at 7am so i can leave at 4pm, and catch my 5pm-8pm class... my other class is scheduled on saturdays, 3.30pm-6.30pm... i was not allowed to just enroll one subject/3 units this sem, my adviser said that a student should at least be enrolled in 2 subjsects/6 units, and also so i can finish the program earlier and i won't need to apply for the MRR. also i will need to have my language class pa before i can take the comprehensive exam to attain the masters degree. :)

i am anticipating that it will be a difficult semester for me, but i know that it would not be easy, i just need to do my very best, and at the same time enjoy every second of it as much as possible. :)

...moving on

I saw this un-post blog from Pinky... i wrote this 09 july 2013, judging from the content, i was still emotional back then... i still feel sad from time to time, but just like what they say, TIME can heal wounds... it's been more than a year, many things have happened... but one thing for sure,,, Kakang Mely will always be in our hearts and memories... and her name will live another lifetime...

things happen for a reason, and what happened last june 28 (2013) is not an exception. a part of me is holding unto this, but a bigger part of me is asking WHYs. it just happened so fast like a blink of an eye. just like that. period. what happened is a big surprise. is it possible to rewind it and have that car pass that intersection, perhaps, 10 or 15 minutes later, so it won't have any chance to hit the tricycle??? or what if they just decided to get tricycle from the terminal, there's a possibility that they won't take that route? well, i can go on thinking of all the possibilities to avoid that accident the entire day, but sad to say, at the end of the day, nothing will change... it happened, and we can no longer do anything to change it... :( :( :(

thank you Kakang Mely for everything, thank you for always being there with us, thank you for all the support, thank you for the love and understanding, thank you, thank you! we will surely miss you. you will always be remembered. things will never be the same without you. We love you, i hope you are happy and at peace now.