...stepping forward

the first few days was very difficult, there were awkward silence from time to time... it felt like the first few days, when i still need to think what to say and i just can't comment on things, i felt that i need to be careful on what i will say... i thought the remaining days would be like a mirror of the first few days... the worst is the first day actually, i got hurt, it seemed that they don't really know me...

the following days felt better, it seemed that things have already sinked in... maybe they have already understand, yet the questions still linger, i actually have a definite answer but the way things happen, it seems that my answer will never be accepted... but still, i'm sure of what i did...

i fully understand the consequences and i am ready to surpass them all... it is only now that i somehow stick to something that i want to do, so i'll go for it even if the road ahead of me is so hazy and maybe with super typhoons but i'll be happy to pass through it and be rewarded with sunny atmosphere!!!

shifting...

this is it! this is really it! it's now time to move on. i felt and i saw through your reaction that i somehow disappointed or should i say turned you down with my decision, but the thing is you disappointed me first. i never thought that i'll ever do this, but well, things just pushed me to the limit, small things accumulated and before i knew it, suffocation came in. everything just seemed to get worse, i can no longer see or i can no longer wait to see it get better. i already came to the point that i don't care anymore. i never asked for too much, but i think i deserve better than this. what will happen next is still uncertain, but what i am sure is i want to move on NOW and do something else, and i know i will never regret this. i have been just standing for the past years, it's now time to take a step forward, or maybe take a step backward and take a good look of the things before me and decide where to step forward. i understand that things won't be easy, but i am now ready to take on my doubts, worries, what-ifs and indecisiveness in the past. i am hoping for the best, and i know God will guide me along the way.

rain!

this picture was taken last weekend, the 1st day of September in San Juan, Batangas. it's nice to watch the pouring rain against the lights of the vehicles that were passing by. as the rain intensified, i had the privilege to sing on top of my lungs without disturbing the neighborhood, it's great to do it once in a while and clear my thoughts. it felt so great watching the rain and singing, hahaha. :D i hope to do it again! :)

...september

What’s so special with the month of September? Is it because it’s Mama Mary’s and MY birth month? (hahaha, bias!!!!) Or is it because it’s the first –ber month of the year and the (un)official start of the Philippine Christmas season?

I am just wondering what’s really so special with this month that some songs have ‘September’ on its lyrics and even on the title itself, have you ever heard the Green Day’s “Wake me up when September ends”? I realized it just the other day when I saw in YouTube CNBLUE’s Jung Yong Hwa singing an English song with “September” in the lyrics. The song’s title is “Try to Remember” originally sung by The Four Brothers back in the 1950s. In the early 2000’s, who didn’t sing along with Mandy Moore’s “Cry”, one of the OST of the movie, A Walk to Remember.

********** Wikipedia information:

- most of those born in September has the zodiac sign Virgo
- the birthstone is Sapphire
- the birth flowers are forget-me-not and morning glory

********** Enjoy the 'September' music! :)

credit to YT uploader: 1997Kpopers

credit to YT uploader: CandyGirl1110

credit to YT uploader: greenday

ramblings...

August 2012 will end tomorrow, because of the habagat and two long weekends, august just past like that... i only have four months to do everything... one thing for sure, december will be my last month here, although i really, really, really want to go by mid- or end of november... worst come to worst, i'll leave here even if i still have nowhere to go... with my financial state now, i really know that i can't afford to be jobless even for a week... will i just stick to "God will provide?" ... this is not easy, i know i have my mistakes and shortcomings... i should be responsible, i have already started the right track of my Phase-plans, i should not give up now... fighting!!!! four months is still enough if i will start now and focus to my goals... i hope to do better... i have to know my priorities, so much for the escapes and sleeping... make concrete plans and alternatives... :)