Friday, February 7, 2014

...dunno :(

something's wrong... something's bothering me... but i can't really figure it out... i suddenly felt not talking since last night... something's off with me... i realized this morning, what i'm feeling is a little too much... Ron is telling me about her check up, but all i said was "okay"... i did not even greet Angelique... and the worst is i didn't even bother to watch the Thursday episode of BCWMH last night... i am a little weird... and what is more annoying is i cannot pinpoint what is happening to me... i guess it's just the this-and-that emotions that have piled up... i felt like crying, i felt so exhausted, i suddenly felt that i am again suffocated... i am getting annoyed... i am hoping that this thingy be over soon...

it's Friday today, meaning it's Saturday again tomorrow... school day! i don't know what to feel, there are moments that i wanna give up studying, but i cannot because i wanted to have a Masteral Degree, but is it really for me? is going back to school worthy of my time? or should i do other things? we have a scheduled family get-together tomorrow and i am torn between going home and attending my class... the thing is: until now i cannot fully comprehend why i wanted a Masteral Degree? my primary reason is personal growth - i wanted to prove my worth, i wanted to prove that i can do better, i wanted to prove something to myself and to others... i wanted to prove that i am better than this, that i am better than what others thought of me... and of course, my graduate studies may help a bit my career path... i don't know, am i asking too much? am i aiming too high? i really don't know...

after being accepted in AC and getting into this Department, i never thought that i will again come across this feeling... feeling of: am i doing the right thing? where am i really going?

feeling sentimental all over again! :(